Space Suit Defenses
In the framework of Existential Psychotherapy, we consider three main aspects of what it means to be a person. First, the givens of existence, such as mortality, freedom and responsibility, relationship, finding meaning, etc. Second, the anxiety that these givens create in us. And third, the defenses we develop in response to this anxiety.
I catch both myself and my clients at times leaning toward the tempting idea that the givens, the anxiety, or the defenses need to change somehow. Maybe if I can stop relying on these annoying defenses, or get rid of this uncomfortable anxiety, or not have to acknowledge the givens of existence, then all will be well.
Really, however, all three are absolutely necessary.
In the face of life’s givens and the resulting anxiety, our psychological defenses are essential to us. We can’t simply get rid of our defenses, and our defenses aren’t “just defenses”.
What used to be referred to as “defense mechanisms” are now sometimes called “defensive accommodations” or “self-protective strategies”. They are how we survive life’s difficulties.
Existential psychotherapist James Bugental (1915-2008) compared our defenses to a space suit for an astronaut. Given the harsh realities of outer space, an astronaut absolutely needs their space suit in order to survive. Take away that protective layer, and they cannot survive.
Similarly, we absolutely need our defenses to survive in the harsh realities of existence. The fact is, life is hard and can at times be overwhelming. To survive we need a protective layer psychologically, just like the astronaut needs their protective space suit.
What Existential Psychotherapy can offer is to start with this situation as a given, and help us discover our choices. Ok, so life involves such scary things as mortality, freedom and responsibility, relationship with all its risks, and all of these can create overwhelming anxiety and the need to protect ourselves. What choices can we still make?
Perhaps our “space suit” is too tight, doesn’t have a cooling system or oxygen tank, or we are scared to take it off even after back in the safety of the space station. In other words, Existential Psychotherapy can help us discover where we have the choice to alter our protective layers to work better for us, to help us better navigate the difficult world, and help us determine safe opportunities to temporarily lower our defenses and make connections.
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